As my Senior year of college is coming to an end, I’m riding the rollercoaster of human emotions. Scared. Happy. Excited. Anxious. Adventurous. You name it. Luckily, worry and fear and been emotions in passing and are far and few in-between. It’s taken me a while to get to this point, it’s an every day habit I have to reinforce in myself. Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t worry… Meditation has helped me immensely although I’ll admit I don’t practice it every day like I set out to do but that’s okay, I’m slowly incorporating positive, mindful habits into my everyday life. 

Graduating from college and moving, yes moving to Perth to be with Tom and start my adventure is a huge chapter in my life. I will look back on this decision years from now and regardless of my expectations about the next 5 years or what happens, I will probably be so, so grateful that I made this decision and chose to venture out of my comfort zone, away from my home and into an new environment. 

This is an exciting and new beginning for me. My life will be a blank slate and I can paint it with whatever colors I want. My goal going to Australia will to be as open to possibilites as I possibly can. Don’t worry, I won’t become some bum who just “goes with the flow” and never accomplishes anything. I could never be that, I’m always moving forward, always changing. I’ve been listening to a cd that has some guided meditations on it that I got years ago at SPROG and there’s a part of the meditation that always resonates with me and gets me really in the moment.

“[Feeling] the realm of who you are with no preferences. Observing your capacity to allow the moment to unfold in its own way, in its own time. Allowing your awareness to be like a vast, spacious sky. Feelings, thoughts, sensations, constantly changing form and shape.”

And to get to the second part of my title… I want to start a new blog on Wordpress. I would like it to be a “transition” blog where I talk about the transition from student to young adult and maybe the transition of a Texan living in Australia. I guess I just need to narrow down exactly what my focus will be and what kind of audience I want to reach… but maybe I will just start it, write whatever I feel like and then see what happens. 

Time to get the day started. …’Till next time!

until I get to see my Aussie man. 8. DAYS. It’s so soon! :) I don’t think the reality of him being in this very room with me in 8 days has even hit me yet. Maybe when I am on my way to pick him up from the airport it will finally O.O

Aside from me sorta (really) freaking out about him being here, I am pretty proud of my accomplishment of not biting my nails for over a month! Yeah, I’ve been a nail biter for as long as I can remember (gross I know) but FINALLY I am stopping… for good! I’ve tried to stop so many times in the past and failed but now I am actually succeeding. Yay!

I am definitely ready for this semester to be over but at the same time, I am pretty freaked out about graduating in May. I’m trying not to be though because I’ve realized that worrying about things that haven’t happened yet is just plain silly. Life will work out, things always work out if you let them. Especially if you are positive and if (as cheesy as this sounds) you believe in yourself. 

I don’t know what the heck I am going to do once I graduate. I have ideas and possibilities, but no solid plans. It’s scary but also liberating. Life is full of possibilities and if something doesn’t go ‘according to plan’, embrace it. I think society tells us our whole lives that there is this ‘plan’ we have to follow. We go to school, get a degree, do x,y & z to ensure you have a good resume then graduate and find a job. Then work your ass off, maybe get married somewhere along the line then save up enough money to retire early (which still is probably over 50) and THEN you can live the dream and travel, have fun and do whatever you want. 

Let me just say, this ‘plan’ NEVER goes the way we are told it should. Things ALWAYS will change. Why are we taught to wait to have a life? And that a career is the most important thing? 

To me, this is so backwards. A career is not the most important thing. A LIFE is the most important thing. And you know what? If you do what you love, i.e. live your life the way you want, you can make yourself a ‘career’. Our ‘career’ should be living life and finding things you are passionate about and doing things you love each and every day. 

I was recently freaking out about the fact that I don’t know what sector in the environmental field I want to go in. I had this idea that if I don’t choose right now, I will never be able to have a good career. But really, I might go through multiple career sectors, and that’s okay. I want to do what I love and maybe it will take me a while to find my perfect niche. I am not going to become homeless and become a deadbeat just because I don’t want/aren’t ready to make a decision about the direction of my life yet. My life is constantly changing and I am going to do my best to take my opportunities and run with them. Yeah, maybe I will fail. But I will try no matter what. And I can guarantee that I will find my niche one day and that I will never work a day in my life. I look forward to that day of clarity and realization but at the same time, I am ready to sit back and enjoy the ride. 

I’m 21 years old. I have so much life to live and so little time to live it. No matter where I am, what I am doing or who I am with, I will try my hardest to see the beauty in every situation. I am grateful for everything and everyone in my life and I always will be and I want to live as though every day is my last.

I AM ALIVE. Such a powerful yet so simple epiphany.

Okay this long post will end now. Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place. 

:) 

since I posted on here. Like, wow. 

A lot has happened since my last post - went back to Australia, saw Tom, worked at a Mexican restaurant in Perth of all places annnnddd came back. Yeah. 

Now, I’m being an unemployed college student who is trying desperately to get the Environmental Club on campus to a stable point (yes, I am in fact that committed to a campus organization). Oh and guess what? Tom is coming here in November. It’s pretty great :)

Hmm what else… Zoe is still OCD. As I type she has placed her toy on my chair with her eyes fixated on me, then the toy, me, toy, me … you get the point. 

Graduation in May 2012. Holy shit. Scary. No SOLID plans yet. Just ideas… they will become real soon. 

I’ve been biking everywhere, and doing Pilates. It makes my body love me. Whenever I don’t exercise now, even if it’s for like two days, my body and mind just say, “Hey, so um, we are going to stop working now… seeyoubye.” It just goes to show how much your body actually craves exercise but we just don’t listen.

Oh, and I’m taking Spanish. Voy a la clase en la mañana. See, I’m learning… slowly. 

Hasta luego!

Foolproof.

fakescience: